i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
