please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
