goodnight i made you a song goodbye
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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