Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize