she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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