i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
