my soul wont recognize me after tonight
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
