I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You smell like stripper and shame
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
