There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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