I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
you inspire me to be a worse person
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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