You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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