it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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