he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
