does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
