i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Still dying that you shit outside
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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