FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
