I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
