He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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