Capitaan dildo arrescate!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
