I cockslap morals
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.