Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.