I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.