Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.