I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.