Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked