Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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