So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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