If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
