Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize