I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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