i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
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