Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My vagina just clenched in fear
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
