On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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