hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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