Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.