Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them