Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.