I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.