Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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