I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
