Having a random hookup so left but love u
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
