if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
COCAINE IS GR8
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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