Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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