you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
