She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
