I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
