i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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