O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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