the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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