This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
