Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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