Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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