How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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