Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize