She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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