He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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