good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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