I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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