$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
