dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
