the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
