It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
