Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize