I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
