My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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