All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
