the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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