my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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