My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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