I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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