I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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