I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
